Deconstructing the 23rd Psalm

 Recently I attended a funeral. It was a Jewish service. The officiant spoke beautifully and the Cantor, a woman, had a lovely voice. At one point in the service we were asked to recite the 23rd Psalm, which was printed in the program. I had put the program in my coat pocket and retrieving it would have been a little awkward so, minister's son that I am, I decided to "wing it". After all, I was made to memorize it as a child and have recited it scores of times over the years. Somewhere from the deep recesses of my memory the words came back. I surprised myself with how well I recalled it. However, as I stood there, on this somber occasion, the Psalm presented itself to me in a whole new light.

I mean, it starts out nice enough, lying down in green pastures, hanging out by still waters, although they would be a perfect breeding ground for mosquitos, but I digress. Then, it goes a little south. 

Preparing a table for me in the presence of my enemies? Why on earth would I want to eat with people that dislike me? And, where on would such a meal be served? God's Cafe? Maybe an upscale bistro with the word "God's" ablaze in neon above the door. Then, apparently, according to the scripture, you get your hair done. It's not clear whether or not this happens at the table. And what's that about your cup overflowing? Now you have to launder the tablecloth. And if it's red wine, probable in biblical times,  and a white tablecloth? Well, I hope you have some bleach on hand. 

Okay, I don't have a problem with the restoring my soul part, but that sentence about walking thorugh the valley of death? Why would I willingly go there? How would a travel agency market such a place? 

Then there's the rod and staff comforting me section. We are getting into some borderline R rated S/M stuff here. Maybe we should rethink having children memorize this as a rite of religious passage. 

Okay, I'll concede it ends nicely enough with the goodness and mercy following one stuff, it's all the bits in the middle I find problematic. 

Having gotten this off my chest I will now sit back, relax and wait for lightening to strike me........




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